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All I have left

Why do I hurt myself?

I’m always bleeding somewhere, even if you don’t see it

I hide the pain

I hide my feelings

I hide everything in my heart

Because I’m afraid to lose it

I’m afraid to lose you

But all of our fears come true eventually

And now I fear myself

I’m over the thought of you

I’m over the withdrawals called late night calls

I’m over you

At least, I would like to think that

‘Cause here I am

Alone at school

Alone at work

Alone in life

But I lie here alone

Staining my white shirt

Red as the roses I bought

The night I asked you to dance

Only to find you with my friend

Happy without me

I was crushed

I am crushed

The pain is unbearable

My nonexistent pride destroyed

I never realized I could be so apathetic towards life

My fears toward life are revolting

But I fear bridges now

As well as knives

Not because I’m afraid of death

But because I don’t want to hurt a friend

A single friend

That’s all I have left

My shattered pride

My drained body

My best and only friend

That’s all I have left

5 thoughts on “All I have left

  1. I know what that’s like. Oh my gosh. Like the world around you is a sudden accomplice to a single dangerous deed.

    But just as strong as sorrow pulls a person towards death, life pulls a person towards living. We’re meant to live. The present never stays the same.

    Sometimes when we lose the biggest parts of ourselves, it’s hard to believe there’s anything worth it left.

    But there’s value in even the smallest, most insignificant attribute.

    And you have a life to live. Things to write. Comments to read. You gave a beautiful person inside of you. You have all of our support here. You CAN do this. You’ll catch yourself saying otherwise on an automatic. But I promise that things will get better. They always do.

    I’m glad you have a good friend who stays by you. Hold on tight. 🤍

    It’s okay to be afraid.

    “I’m always bleeding somewhere, even if you don’t see it” #stolen. You’re giving us all a voice. Thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. this is so hard to read because i feel your pain and it’s so real. it really really hurts when the two people you care about don’t need you anymore. but somewhere there’s someone who’ll meet you and realize that they can’t live without you. you’re amazing and i know things are hard right now but i believe in you and your heart. you got this!!!

    i love how you put things into words

    Liked by 1 person

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